Calling a girl for the first time is like a telemarketing call. We all get those and most of the time, we try to cut the conversation as soon as possible. So, before you push that button on your iPhone of other trendy apparatus that evolved from the wire with two horns... let's think about what do you want to accomplish with this call. Sex, ok that's what you were thinking first, but let's assume that you just want to get to know the person better.

In our growing social media society, communication between people gets more and more complicated. We have to dig through thousands of layers before we actually can get to the real in person conversation. Just as an example: You see her in the club... so you start talking to her friend... the one you are not interested, even if she is butt ugly... then you slowly move the conversation to her... you talk and talk... but you fail to plan an activity together in the future... and even fail to get any contact information... you go home... and luckily you find her as one of the friends of one of your million Facebook friends you actually don't know... woohooo... first layer covert... you start a message and chat conversation... after gazillions of characters and some wore wrists... you manage to get her phone number and reached the next level... and that's why you are here... If right now you are thinking "hey wait, I am a girl!" - well congratulations for reading so far... the answer for you is simple... next time you meet a guy you like... make sure you give him your number... bluntly... point.

Anyway, we are getting of topic here. I was trying to point out that every year, the communication layers we have to cross, seem to get thicker and thicker, up to the point, where people are scared(!) if you give them your phone number or suggest to go for a coffee. (important note... in my opinion you only get to know a person for who he/she really is after you shared a passion and were forced to work together on something that is not enjoyable... but that's another article)

And that's what you are trying to achieve by making the phone call. You want to reinforce in her mind that you are still that super fun guy she met in the club and that she can feel comfortable around you. For a lot of women video chatting and calling is much more comfortable than meeting up for real, just because of the safety precautions. This is your task to get her to meet up with you and feel good about it. So here is the plan. You send her a text at noon, something light, funny and preferably with an open end. For example, I love to send a little message like: "I just saw a sexy little fish and it reminded me of you". You have to admit that message like this is original, maybe even odd, which means, it will give you much higher chances to get some response. The come back might be "What kind of fish?", "You compare me with a fish?", "Thanks", "I was thinking of you too",... And I would reply "Yes, like a cute Nemo" and then, a few seconds later, "But I hope you will not go missing, talk to you later x"

The goal of this text message is to make her curious and raise your chance in her picking up the phone when you call later in the evening. If she doesn't, just say "Hey, it's Libertinus, I'll talk to you later." Some people suggest to add "you can call me back" for assuming rapport. I disagree. Why? Because that puts the responsibility in her hands. A lot of times, instead of leaving message, I will try to call again (few minutes later) and, if still no answer, then leave a message. Keep in mind that many women have bags full of all kinds of "necessary" stuff to pimp themselves up, which is why, phones have a tendency to get lost in there.

When do I try to call her again? In most cases I would wait at least a day, then text her, and then try to call again. If still nothing - you better wait few days before you try again or... you can start stalking her. (irony)

Wait, what if she does pick up the phone? Then you can start working on advancing the sell, like a good marketer would put it. I would usually start with "Hey, [insert her name here]. Do you have few seconds to talk?" Watch out! This question is not dictated by politeness! For me it's important to ask, cause first of all I don't feel like interrupting someone, who is occupied and more importantly: when talking with people, I like to have their full attention or at least illusion of it :) If she's busy or you sense she is, end the conversation.

After these formalities you can get back to the last message and expand it into some kind of role play. It helps people to relax, cause they don't have to handle the reality. Remember that in fantasies everything is possible. It can be something like this: "I am happy you didn't go missing... Disney doesn't find enough characters anymore... (what do you mean?)... well you know that Nemo fish was actually trying to get out of the film industry but..."

Keep it short and end with a qualification question like: "You seem adventurous, what is the craziest thing you ever did?... Me, one day I was..." Tell your story and she will tell her. Whenever she talks about cool stuff, qualify her back and arrange the meeting like "You are funny, I want to see you! I'm going shopping for my little sister/cute niece/feathery duck's birthday and it would be awesome to have your helping advice"

If she declines, you continue talking for a minute or so and then end the conversation "I have to go, talk to you later". Keep texting and calling her, but do not ask her out again for at least 3 calls. Ask her to accompany you somewhere on the 4th call or so. (actually when thinking back, as long as I feel she has nothing better to do in the moment, I often talk a lot more and try to convince her in joining or even doing something together that moment)

Once you agree on meeting up, keep texting her to bridge the time gap in between the call and the appointment. But more about that later...

Have fun,
Libertinus