Sadly, our culture is designed particularly to make women keenly aware of what others want, at the expense of an awareness of their own needs. In fact, submissiveness for woman is romanticized and eroticized. Think of all those images girls are exposed to so early on in their lives they have no way to defend themselves: images of Prince Charming sweeping her off her feet and riding off with her to his castle; images of a husband carrying her over a treshold into their new, happy life; images of her father giving his daughter (like a piece of furniture) to the groom; to images of the caveman dragging his woman by the hair.

In so many fairy tales, like Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty, the only thing the hero knows about the girl is that she is beautiful. He shows no interest in her intellect or personality - or even her sexuality. The man is either a ruler or has the magic power to awaken her, and all she can do is hope that her physical appearance fits the specifications better than the other girls. In the original Cinderella story, the stepsisters actually cut off parts of their feet to try fit into the glass slipper. Maybe this marks the origins of the first cosmetic surgery.

Besides romanticizing Cinderella's misery, the story also gives the message that woman's relationships with each other are full of bitter competition and animosity. The adult voice of womanly wisdom in the story, the stepmother, advises all her girls frantically do whatever it takes to please the prince. This includes groveling, cutting off parts of themselves, and staying powerless.

I was heartsick to watch The Little Mermaid. The little mermaid agrees to give up her voice for a chance to go up on the 'surface' and convince her nobleman to marry her. She is told by her local matron sea witch that she doesn't need a voice - she needs only to look cute and get him to kiss her. And in the story, it works...

Excerpt from : "Don't be nice, Be real" by Kelly Bryson